Dilemmas of the heart

I’ve been spending some time at home with my parents and grandparents. My grandparents have crossed more than 4 scores of their lives. My granny is almost bed ridden, needing somebody to assist her for even the most basic tasks. Despite being a heart patient himself, my grandad keeps track and ensures of all my granny’s medicines, helps her get dressed after the shower, massages her legs with oil and every small thing that could give her a bit of relief from all her discomforts. I wonder if this is what they say is true love! Complete care and devotion to each other’s needs and well-being!

I grew up reading Mills&Boons(yes, now I realize it’s just soft porn) and watching Shahrukh khan movies….for the longest time I thought the four letter sacred word meant that intense all-consuming passionate feeling…the one which makes you go mush every time you think about your partner and no other feeling in the world gives that high…makes you smile, blush, laugh, cry with joy…….In real life, that “Eros” kind of love apparently cannot take you far in any relationship as it is focused on self-love than unconditional….

My therapist says that love is a very complex emotion and has a different connotation and manifestation for every individual and refuses to give me any cookie-cutter kind of a definition. My Yog teacher professes that love is an absolute soul devotion and should only be reserved for that one true God. For every other being, it is just universal love.

I recently read somewhere, “Love is when you choose to be at your best when the other person is not at their best. Love is when what you want is never important. But what the other person needs and wants is always paramount. … That’s a hard one to do, but that’s what true love is.”

In the past couple of months/years, I’ve been struggling to understand what true love is and if there is an expiry date to that? Is it affection or intimacy or attachment or irrationality? Or is it that sense of fulfilment where you are willing to sacrifice everything? And then I wonder, could true love ever make you bitter, angry, sorrow, empty, lonely… should it have the power to destroy you?

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

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